Hi there madams and ma nizzies. I, your humble narrator, Da WWWiz, I have an interesting discovery to report.
A couple daze ago I get a letter, like snail mail, from a friend in the UK who I haven't spoken to in years, but who follows my blog. In the letter was a short hand written note from my friend and a pamphlet (the unpurged sum of which is transcribed word for word below).
My friend, Gavin, explains in his note that on a recent weekend piss-up in London he stops in at the famous 'speaker's corner'. Some apocalyptic preacher type hands him this brochure, and Gavin--who also thinks I'm totally bonkers, says the text is right up my alley.
Here is the text of that pamphlet.
Concerning a Variety of Heresies which Pose Riddles Vital to Our Interestby Dr. Chuck Borgonya, professor of divinity emeritus, Trinity, Kings College, Dec. 1981.Not one thing, but everything tradition attributes to Judas Iscariot is false. - Thomas De Quincey, 1857Our inquiry will not turn upon a mathematical proof. For such a plain mathematical model, we direct the reader to Lyndon Larouche's On the Subject of Metaphor - an absolutely convincing diagram of the supreme constant of reality (the Sphere), and a rapier diatribe against the mystery masonic fascism of religious and scientific dogma that is a plague upon humanity.
In place of such complex proof we prefer to simply state the finally proven fact needed to establish our case: as the Sphere is the Supreme cosmological constant, ergo, the Biblical Christ is the supreme figure of literature and social science.The Sphere, because it has an infinite number of surfaces, each of which supports an unbounded tangential plane surface, is both the smallest and greatest object present and eventful. Whatever is happening, wherever and whenever it happens in quantum space, there is an infinitely small sphere at its center and an infinitely large sphere at its limit - a fact proven with beautiful elegance by Cantor's studies of Aleph Manifold and demonstrated with panache by Larouche in his infamous essay. The Sphere is Supreme.
Any honest and careful study of Biblical scripture, juxtaposed with an inquiry into the heresies of Gnosis, is apt to leave the student of divinity with the same description of Christ as we give to the Supreme Sphere. As the Sphere is Geometrically Supreme, so is Christ the Supreme character of Literature. It is very important to reassert that ours is neither a spiritual nor a dogmatic inquiry. Rather, the directive of this inquiry is to examine only the literary supremacy of Christ. It is Christ as a character in literature that is our concern, because it is our belief that along with the study of geometry, only allegorical literature documents the truth of Gnosis.
We argue first and with passion that it is the literary Satan, the mythological Saturn or Father Time, who is the Lord of Order, not Christ. Satan's maxim: Ordo ab Chao; from Chaos, Order. It is Satan who is the master of Law and Measure, the creator of Time and therefore Death. Popular myths such as promulgated by the astrotheologic and theosophic movement, myths which claim Christ as a model of many other previous characters of myth, do not make their case against the Gospel of Christ. Rather, they simply annotate Satan's master plan to deceive the World and make Himself like The Most High. Each time the true messiah appears, Satan murders Him and then claims the messianic persona as His Own. The map of the universe as beheld by human enterprise, the whole of history, society, religion, science. Everything we see or seem - all of it in Satan's ineluctable design. We estimate that His work, the shimmering dereliction in which we all reside, is a thing of great beauty and majesty. Praise His Mighty Name. Hallowed Be His Name.
But it is Christ and Christ alone who is the Lord of Cosmos, for it is only Christ that can not be made to measure, and thus like the Sphere, is an expression of the highest order of infinity. He who upturns the laws of God and yet is found without a fault. He that Was, Is and Will Be. The Loving Cup that Runneth Over. We must praise the Father, to be sure, but all Glory is the property of Christ. Glory and the Endless Wonders of the Abyss.
Again we remind that our focus belongs to the literary Christ and not the socio-spiritual model that also bears His ubiquity. We speak not of actuality but virtual idealism. Maybe a man called Christ walked the Earth? Who could say they know it to be true and can demonstrtae this knowledge beyond doubt? But the literal record, the Bible, the Gospel, these documents are a material fact. The story of Christ does exist, and regardless of the zeitgeist, no other literary figure proposes the same action as He. Not by a country mile - and that's a long way.
Each and every theocratic dogma and each and every accepted scientific model of reality is predicated on a future state of reality, and on how through right action that state can be achieved with human effort. Judaism, Catholicism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and the final religion, Science. All these and more designed by Satan to fool the many, and with a level of artifice that is profound and awesome splendor. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of Satan.
But Literary Christianity stands alone from these Satanic marvels. Its oath not the distant standard of a human utopia which must derive from a troubled and violent evolution, but of instantaneous salvation. Saved Now. Saved Now. Saved as Christ saved the theif at His crucifixion. This is the promise of the Literary Christ: SAVED NOW.
Now good listener, you may fancy yourself, (in the rhetorical sense, of course), as 'a good man' or ' a lady of moral', free from sin, or that you can save yourself or don't need saving. Moreover, there are many among you who would dare say that the problem of sin is at its utmost a dubious proposition, and perhaps even utterly irrelevant. We caution that our own view is not different, merely more acutely informed of dark detail--for it is our claim that the miracle of the Literary Christ is as He declares: Accomplished! We are all good people and saved by Christ. Consider the mere fact that it can be suggested that 'sin does not exist' in a world such as our own, well...
...do you see?
We go farther still, for our mission is not only to discover the fantastic certainty of Christ's virtual success, but to identify the exact methodology used to carry it out. Heresy has been promised - it will be delivered.First, the problem of sin must be edified to the deepest possible level. Very simply, sin is death. Death in the sense of the absolute dissolution of the self. It is the horrible and malformed fear of death that is the pinpoint source of every human crime and woe back to Original Sin itself. And it is a justifiable fear - for who among thee wishes to be destroyed instead of healed.
The New Age Movement offers the so-called enlightened solution - the abandonment of ego. The psychologist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross introduces the same idea as the acceptance of death. To those who align with such folderol we propose a simple test. Would you be willing to completely abandon your ego-self at once? This would include the total loss of all memory and identity--what say you?
If you dare to answer 'yes', you must by all means tear yourself away from the secrets as yet herein untold and prepare a tidy suicide, post haste. Don't let us keep you.
Readers that remain fool not themselves with odorless dreams of mystic star-transformation. We few seek the belly of the beast. The fire of the refiner: the literary Jesus Christ. It is to us alone the horrible knowledge that edifies the last and most perplexing boggler of the greatest work of literature that is or was or will be. Namely: the problem of Judas.
According to Gospel, Jesus is a regular face at Temple. He conducts outrageous miracles in public centers. Rides into Jerusalem on a Donkey to the cries of 'King of the Jews!'. Has personal audience with multiple high dignitaries. In light of these, the identification of Jesus by Judas is pointless. Nonsense. Utterly unnecessary. Jesus is already the talk of the town.
It is only through the deepest meditation that the truth of this riddle can be apprehended.
We must isolate certain facts. A messiah is a healer, prophet, teacher and sometime martyr. The story of Christ, indeed of the Bible entire, is the story of many messiahs--John the Baptsit is one such messaih, Moses another. And Christ's age in particular is the age of the messiah, the age of miracle.
Messiah means anointed one. The unguent used to anoint is the greasy fat of a ritually murdered lizard. If this is not enough to make it crystal clear, we add that along with the gift of healing, walking on water, the summoning of matter, messiahs can also change their appearance like a chameleon its colors. In the age of messiahs, such talents are not limited to just one man. Christ's unique quality is that he is Ultimate among messiahs, because he understands the precise nature of his sacrifice, but not that he is the only technical messiah. It is more than likely that many of Christ's inner circle also possessed the powers of a technical messiah, just as the followers of Great Stage Magicians are often lesser magicians themselves.
We must likewise comprehend that it is not enough that Christ be punished for the sin of man, but also that he bear the full responsibility for that sin; the awful rapine evil that is the human soul in fear of death at the hands of Time. For Satan, the sacrifice of an innocent man is not enough to forbid Him the complete destruction of His vile creation. We aver: the study of scripture demands this conclusion: Satan exacts not only punishment upon Christ, but from Him draws the Sin of Man - a feat made flesh by the betrayal of Judas.
Here is the technical dialectic.
1. The whole rotten mess of human malfeasance is concentrated into a single literary documentary: the Torture, Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ. Satan agrees to the terms.2. A stand in for Christ is chosen, necessarily by Christ himself. We suggest Thomas, who appears the meekest of the lot. His natural decency and readiness to struggle with God makes him the perfect choice. His murder will be ugly. The murder of a real innocent. The epitome of injustice.3. As the legion approaches to arrest Christ, and in an act prearranged in league with the Romans, Christ shifts His appearance into that of Judas and then betrays his stand in Thomas, who is using his own albeit lesser power to appear in the guise of Christ. For this act it is Christ who is paid thirty pieces of silver. We add our suspicion, a mere conjecture, that the entire literary character of Judas is actually Christ in disguise and/or as a projected double.4. Thomas is crucified and Christ, who has chosen Thomas as a sacrificial victim, now bears the shame of the greatest imaginable crime - the murder of a lamb of God - which is of an office Satan keeps a jealous watch.
5. The resurrected body of myth is merely Christ, unscathed and in in his usual composure, but with a secret name... Judas Christ.
Up to this point, we do not diverge too much from the self-serving heresies of popular Gnosis. But where the Gnostic absurdly, even orgiastically suggests that this shell game was prepared to ensure that the bloodline of Christ be preserved, we expose the Heresy of Heresies - that the destiny of Christ and his terrible offering is that of the literary Judas, the secret Christ - and thus...
6. Judas Christ, now guilty as charged the Sins of Man, must carry out his own crucifixion and commit the greatest of all sin, self-denigration, self-degradation, self-destruction. Satan demands not one iota less, and Christ, to save humankind, complies. Stripped of his name, of his crown, and at last of his goodness, a common murderer, he hangs himself in the wilderness. To becometh carrion. To becometh dust. This is the mystery of the Aleph. This is the mystery of Tau. No cross upon a hill. No burial in linen. No resurrection. No crown of light. Rather, the barren lonely death of a man eternally despised.
And here's the kicker. Satan serves up the His malevolent mischief over and over again--and who can blame Him. He knows Judas Christ will always accept the terms for another chance at Grace. And yet--we can't help wonder that after a while, JC might start to get a taste for the killing--a love of the game for its own sake--and turn tables on his charming nemesis, that serpent of old and ancient of days, who is called the Devil.
Such matters are provocative, to be sure, and probably account for even the most subtle changes in the continuum of Time - to elude the keenest of souls. Souls like our own, who know the world as it truly is.
And so we part with a psalm to Judas Christ...
This burden is our trustArise in Him we mustTo find His secret nameEncrypted in the GameTo find it everywhereBoth violent and fairIn every nook and spaceThe triumph of His graceHis sacrifice is madeWe can not let it fadeFrom memory, from rhymeFrom in our gut, from TimeFrom where it shines and fallsAnd hanging on the wallsThat hold our world to rightStill - watching in the nightMade flesh, made man, reviledLike all of us - a child
...And lost inside a spell...
...the Labyrinth of Hell
The previous work - Strong's Delusion - including both the preface attributed to The Wrong Way Wizard and the pamphlet Concerning a Variety of Heresies which Pose Riddles Vital to Our Interest - is a literary forgery composed by drunken monkey Azazel Fenrar.
Az is a friend of mine. A very good friend. A few weeks back, in a state of alcoholic degeneration, we two would argue over who was the finer artist. Az, who is a photographer by trade, boasts that he will write something that I might write, but better. I tell him him, in the spirit of chivalry, to go fuck himself, and that if he succeeds, I will publish it on my site.
I'll be damned if he didn't deliver... and how! To boot, the pamphlet portion is a fantastic parody of 'The Three Versions of Judas', which I personally recommended to Az, the little sonofabitch. Under the circumstances, I must reconsider my work completely.
Mark de LeClair, The Wrong Way Wizard